Doctor calls up the patient: "I have bad news and worse news. The bad news is that you have 24 hours to live."
Patient: "OMG, that is very bad news! What could be worse than that?"
Doctor: "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."
A patient storms into a doctor's office: "Doctor, you told me I have a month to live, then sent me a bill for $1,000! I can't pay you by then." Doctor: "Okay, you have six months to live."
Nurse: "Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room."
Doctor: "Tell him I can't see him now."